


You're Not Alone

by seooshi



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22819972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seooshi/pseuds/seooshi
Relationships: Cere Junda & Greez Dritus, Cere Junda & Trilla Suduri | Second Sister
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	You're Not Alone

It had only been a few days since Trilla died, and Cere didn’t know exactly how to act. She suggested that they stay on Bogano, only to lay low.  _ We sure definitely need it,  _ she thought. Cal’s wound was bothering him, and she felt as if she was to blame. Cere checked up on him multiple times, but knew there wouldn’t be much change with his health each time she went to his room on the Mantis. During late night talks with Greez, they both had decided it’s best to stay on Bogano for as long as need be. They would get supplies when they truly needed them, and besides their overuse of bacta patches for Cal’s wounds, they would make rations of their food supply. Cere discussed this with their small group, a Jedi, a nightsister, a lateron and- well, Cere didn’t exactly know who she was anymore. 

Before, she felt a drive to make things right, to move on from her past and correct things with Trilla. Now, she realized that wouldn’t happen. She mourned silently. She mourned for all that could have happened with her padawan, what could have happened if Trilla was brought to safety. Cere knew that disaster would strike, during their mission, she felt it through the force. She just didn’t want to tell Cal this, because he seemed frightened enough by the world already.  _ But oh, he was  _ **_brave_ ** _.  _ Cere thought, and she thought Trilla was brave too. She  _ knew  _ she was brave. Cere just didn’t think that Trilla would get hurt along with Cal, and she hated herself for not being more careful.

When she saw  _ him _ come out of the shadows, she barely knew what to do. Cere was terrified by him, the darkness that she had tried so hard to quell from her body, reaching out to her  _ through  _ him, wrenching all her hopes and dreams out of her soul.  _ If only I had reacted quicker, I would have had her in my  _ **_arms_ ** _ again. She would be  _ **_safe_ ** _.  _

But then, Cere knew that it wouldn’t be perfectly okay once Trilla was with them.The empire would be continuously chasing them down, trying to get their Inquisitor back just like how she had tried to get her padawan back in the end, and she knew that Trilla would have had still needed time to heal, and to take care of herself.

Cere knew it wouldn’t be perfect either way, but she still  _ blamed  _ herself.  _ Why couldn’t I have gone to get her  _ **_sooner_ ** _?  _

She hated that as soon as she saw Trilla get murdered, she went back to her old ways, her  _ hiding hole,  _ the darkside. But even that couldn’t have been able to save Cere and Cal against Vader, and Cere was  _ terrified  _ that he had enjoyed her brutality against him.  _ How could I have gone so  _ **_low_ ** _? _

It was far too late in the night when Cere sat awake, brooding at the table. She had just double checked on Cal, to make sure that he was doing alright. He was sleeping when she found him, but she still worried about how slowly his wound was healing. She shouldn’t have brought him to the Fortress- Cere believed that she could have done it all by herself. Although that may have been true, Cere knew she would have been fully succumbed to the darkside at this point. It was like a drug to her: addicting. She didn’t want Cal to see her like that. He seemed close to falling to the darkside at times as well, and it made her  _ worry.  _ She didn’t want the closest thing to the Jedi Order, just as she was to him, to get hurt, killed, or to fall victim to her own deeds. She would hate herself even more, then.

Setting her mug of caf down at the table, a quiet sob racked through her bent body, her eyes shutting tight in order to not let the tears pass through. Cere wasn’t just crying over one thing, she was crying over  _ everything.  _

“Hey,” Greez said quietly, walking in. “You okay, Cere?”

“Yeah.” She sniffed, wiping her nose. “Just tired.”

He sat down across from her, stretching an arm out to her. “I know tired when I see it.” He whispered. “What’s up?”

Cere paused, wondering if she should open up to the lateron.  _ It’s not that big of a deal.  _ She told herself. Cere knew that Greez would know that she was pretending she was okay, but she still hesitated.  _ What would he think of me?  _

“It’s about Trilla, isn’t it?” He said sadly.

Cere nodded with a deep breath, and took her friends hand in comfort. “I just- I wanted so much  _ more  _ for her. I wanted things to be  _ different. _ ”

“I know.”

“Greez, I know I haven’t fully explained everything about the force to you, but once she died?” She shook her head. “It started to get  _ bad  _ again.  _ I  _ started to get bad again. Don’t tell Cal that, I don’t want him to think of me differently.

"Okay, first of all? Of  _ course  _ I won't tell Cal." Greez said solemnly. "That's your own thing to talk about, and I'm very appreciative of you telling me it as well. Secondly, you're not a bad person for feeling these things. You're normal for having  _ emotions _ , Cere. Don't forget that."

"I know," Cere shut her eyes. "I just wanted to be with her. It didn't end the way I wanted it to end, and even  _ Cal  _ got hurt.  _ I  _ brought him there, Greez, and I put Trilla in there too." She looked into Greez's eyes, her brow furrowing. Her voice was more stern. "It was my job to take her out, and I failed that. I failed her so many times and I  _ still  _ failed her even after I told her I wouldn't fail her anymore."

They sat in silence, Ceres misery hanging in the air.

"Why do you always have to do everything on your own?" Greez asked suddenly.

"Huh?" Cere looked taken aback, pulling her hand away from his. 

"No, I mean-" He grasped her hand in his once more. "You're not  _ alone  _ Cere. It's okay. None of us can change our past, and we can make our own future." He smiled sadly up at her when she frowned. "What, you think that I haven't been listening in on your conversations with Cal? You need to listen to yourself sometimes."

Cere sniffed. "Maybe I've just had a lot of pressure on me lately." 

Greez's hand tightened around hers. "You  _ have,  _ Cere. And it's okay to worry about Cal too, I've noticed how often you check up on him."

"I just can't believe that he was hurt that bad, honestly." Cere smiled with her watery eyes. "Thanks, Greez. I feel like I haven't talked to you that much."

"Well, I'm here for you if you need me to be."


End file.
